Questions about Lust and Recovery

30 days sober!!!!

I met with one of my teachers today to ask him a couple questions.  He taught the Marriage Prep class that I took a year ago, and I really valued his advice.  Going into the meeting I was not aware that he is actually a marriage counselor...yeah, the questions that I had to ask were very much so along the lines of marriage!

The question I want to highlight here was, How can I maintain or grow my relationship with my girlfriend while she is on her mission for the LDS church?  For those who don't know, a mission for the LDS church is 2 years for the men, and 18 months for the women.  I have been concerned about how we are going to keep our love alive for each other, and so I decided to ask him and see if he had any advice.

I was pleasantly surprised at the praise and advice that he gave me! He advised me that this could be a time when we could grow together emotionally rather than physically like most people in the world do today.  I was intrigued by his ideas of making sure that the base of our intimacy triangle was a nice large section of emotional intimacy.  I guess I realized while he was talking that I really always wanted it to be that way.  This is probably going to be hard for me because I am the kind of guy that really feels love through the little touches and looks that my girl gives me throughout the day.  So, this will be a new growing experience for me and it will also give me time change and build a better base on my recovery.

Another thing that he reassured me of was the normalcy of the feelings and desires that I feel whenever I am with her.  I am built to have those desires, and only when I forget about the person behind the body or behind the intimacy (such as forgetting their likes, dislikes, etc.); only then are those desires bad.  It is totally normal to have desires to have sex and intimacy with someone of the opposite sex, but keeping in mind the person attached to the body is what will keep the lust from attacking my mind.

I learned so much from my teacher...and I am excited to be able to talk with him again!

This is my daily check in and this is me hoping for another 24 hours!

-Grateful and Hopeful