Sunday, April 21, 2013

No Cheating in Recovery

33 days sober:

Today in church I heard something that really made me stop and think.  How do I go through life cheating myself of my full potential?  That was the essence of the discussion in church, and it really made me think about what I do in life halfheartedly or without the full diligence that I should.  Now as I sat down to think about what to write, I pondered how my recovery has gone when it was halfhearted recovery - it hasn't gone anywhere!

Any time my heart isn't really into recovery I don't make any progress.  Right now, I am dedicated to recovery because I can see the hope and joy that I will get from it.  I want my wife to feel comfortable with me and not wonder if I am cheating on her or anything...or for her to wonder if she is enough for me.  I want her to feel fulfilled and appreciated.  I want my kids to know a kind, loving father who is supportive, thoughtful, and every other good attribute that I could ever think of!

I am so grateful for my life.  I think the gratitude that I have been working on has really helped me to get this much sobriety.  I don't think I have had 33 days of recovery, but I am sure glad that I have this much sobriety so that I can have a lesser portion of the impulsiveness that is more prevalent when acting out.  I feel like I am slowly making progress in recovery.  I am inspired by this when I think of a scripture out of the Book of Mormon.  A prophet says, "Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold  I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." (Alma 37:6)  I know that as I keep moving forward, I will be able to reach my dreams.

This is my daily check in and this is my hope for another 24 hours!

-Grateful and Hopeful

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