New opportunities

4 days sober:

I am confused. I know that my girlfriend loves me, and yet I have a hard time remembering that. She is gone...and before she left we never really resolved the whole "you don't speak my love language" thing. So...I'm conflicted. I want to give her a chance, but I also know that I can't spend a year and a half just sitting around, getting upset at the way that she is. There are a couple girls around me that I would be interested in, but I'm not sure if it is rebound or real interest. I'm sure the addict in me is looking at the new girls as new opportunities.

When I was sitting next to a girl tonight while watching a movie, I had the thought that I just wanted to make out with her. I know that I shouldn't, but I also know that she would be up for it. I thought about it seriously enough that my heart started beating and I started getting nervous. I feel bad because I am not being "faithful" to my girlfriend, but I also don't know how I should be acting towards her.

I am going to pray about it and make sure I seek the Lord's direction on what would be best for me as a Recovering Addict. Should I take some time off from girls in order to focus on recovery? Maybe...I'm just not sure!

This is my daily conflictions (that's not even a word!)...and I hope I can get another 24 hours of sobriety! Only God can make it happen!

-Grateful and Hopeful