My cravings and the concept of key habits

1 day sober:

I am SO tired of writing that! But I guess it is as my sponsor says, "Did you learn something?" I did learn something from this relapse of acting out. I am learning my patterns as well as learning what my cravings are. That brings me to what I promised I would write about today!

Cravings
In Duhigg's book The Power of Habit, he outlines what researchers are now finding is at the center of a habit. Kind of driving the habit forward...ya know? That is the craving that you associate with that habit. Kind of what emotional (or physical or social or spiritual...etc.) needs you are fulfilling by doing that habit. Duhigg says that if you identify the craving then you can change a habit by meeting the craving but changing the routine (what physical actions the habit involves). I have been trying to figure out what cravings are involved in my habits in my sexual addiction. So far, I have really only thought of one: the craving to feel loved/accepted.

Tonight is an interesting case for me. I am on my laptop writing this blog post and I am alone in the front room of my apartment. Normally, this late at night, I would be jumping onto a porn video site, watching a bit of pornography, and then going and masturbating. Tonight I don't want to. Is it because I just found out that my roommates best friend just died? Maybe...or could it be that I hung out with a couple of guys that I feel totally comfortable around (they are a bunch of guys from my SA group) and therefore fulfilled my need for love and acceptance for the night? Or is it because I surrendered my resentment that I have been holding towards my girlfriend for not being as affectionate as I would like? I just don't know.

Key Habits
The concept of key habits is that there are some habits which, if changed, slowly leak change into every other part of your life. For some it is as simple as making their bed in the morning. This will have them soon following their budget better as well as other things in their life.

I want to identify some key habits for me so I can make some great changes in all aspects of my life. I wonder if reading the Book of Mormon will be one of those key habits? Once again...I'm at a loss for sure knowledge!

SO...those are things I have been learning from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. I feel like they are things that I can apply into my recovery...kind of meshing it into my step work.

Tomorrow I will write about the revelations I had today while in my SA group meeting. Very enlightening!

This is my daily check in and this is my experience and thoughts today. I pray I can get another 24 hours under my belt!

-Grateful and Hopeful