Well, I came close to slipping up about 10 minutes ago. I have an obsession with sports bras. For some reason I find them very triggering and very attractive. And for the last couple days I haven't been able to get sports bras off my mind! It seems like each female I look at is almost instantly slipped into a sports bra in my mind in order to see how she looks in one...that is sick. I am sometimes blown away by what my mind will do in order to get the next "fix."
I posted a couple days ago about refinement. Well, I didn't go too much into my thoughts on the matter. I just posted the article I had read and mentioned that people should read it. So here are a couple of my thoughts.
Refinement - this is something I strive for. I want to be a gentleman. I want my language to be refined and elegant. I would like my appearance to be clean, neat, and respectable. I want to be familiar with the great works on literature, music, and art. Art not so much, but music and literature? Yes...I want to know them and love them. I want people to respect me and see me as a man of my word and as a person who will do whatever I say. Starting off great as a sex-addict right? Ha ha, yeah...not so much.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. The day I read the article I listened to some classical music, started memorizing a poem (IF by Rudyard Kipling), and didn't watch as many movies as I usually do.
*Side note: I am recovering from a surgery and am consigned to a couch. Movies are one of the things I can do while I am sitting here.*
BUT, that devotion to becoming refined only lasted that one day. Today I have watched a lot of movies and boy...I sure came close to slipping up! What causes this? True...I am a bit more tired today and yesterday than I have been...so tonight I will go to bed a bit earlier and try to sleep longer so I am not struggling with being tired.
Back to refinement. I need to be patient with myself as I try to establish habits of refinement. Only by making more, better habits will I be able to become refined.
This is my daily check in, and this is my experience. I pray I can get another 24 hours of recovery.
-Grateful and Hopeful
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