36 days sober:
My girlfriend left this morning for her home. She lives 11 hours away from me, and in 4 weeks she leaves on her mission for the LDS Church. I am super scared that I am going to lose my sobriety because I really miss her. She has been one of the greatest strengths to me for my sobriety thus far...and I'm scared to see what will happen with her gone. I guess this will really test whether or not I am in this for myself!
I am amazed at my automatic addict reaction to this situation though! All I want is to be by myself, look at some pornography, and masturbate...all day! For some reason I feel like that would make me feel a lot better...yeah right! I know for a fact that doing that would send me into such a tailspin out of recovery that I don't know if I would ever get back...
How am I going to get through today?
-Call someone if I need to
-Focus on studying for my last final
-Pray like crazy
-Study recovery material
-Clean my room (it really needs it!)
-in general, keep myself from being hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.
This is my plan!
This is my daily check in, and this is my hope for another 24 hours!
-Grateful and Hopeful
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