A Lesson of Recovery

14 days sober:

Last night I had a wonderful conversation with my girlfriend and she helped me realize many different things. The biggest thing, the one that I want to focus on in my post today, is that while I do service for others and I feel like I do this relatively selflessly...I am not very good at thinking about others.  These are things I have noticed with this character defect in my life: Self-centeredness

• I don't do very well with remembering things that are important to others
• I am very unwilling to consider others' positions in discussions
• I don't compromise very well...I do what I think is compromising, but really it is just convincing the other person to see my point of view as viable
• I don't think about the consequences that my actions are going to have on others around me

Having heard this and having thought about this all day, I realize that I need to do something about this.  Somehow, I need to learn to focus on the people around me.  I need to value what they value and see what they see.  I especially need to apply this in my relationship with my girlfriend.  I worry about not thinking of her after we are married and now I realize that I don't think about her much as it is! Ha ha, yeah, gotta work on that pronto!

My plan for thinking of others is going to start with my girlfriend.  I will write down things that she tells me that she values.  When we're about to go out and she says that we need to do something sometime I need to just stop, write it down, and then plan on making it come about.  I want her to be happy...and I don't want to have any expectations that I will get something in return.  I am ready for this addiction to stop affecting every part of my life and for the character defects that I have to slowly be healed.  That is my quest!

This is my check in for today and I'll take another 24 hours. 

-Grateful and Hopeful